!!!! VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK AFTER JUMP !!!
Here are some pictures of Mariah Carey’s cleavage because she has big tits and I figured you like to feel like you were in the room with her, lookin’ down her shirt because you are a pervert and wouldn’t actually be with a girl who looks like this. That’s not saying that Mariah Carey is hot, it’s saying that you’re a loser.

Speaking of losers, I used to hang out with a girl who was built like Mariah. She had a weak chin, big boobs and a pretty curvy body. She was an alcoholic, so we’d get drunk pretty much everyday for the month we hung out together. I wanted to bang her from day one, but she thought she was hotter than she was and liked having me around because I could drink as much as she could and I didn’t look down on her for being a slut who ended up going home everynight with a different dude. I took on the shitty friend role who had to listen to all her sexual conquests about how guys stuffed her and how she’d have to get rid of them then next day and shit, and it made me want to take her for a round. No matter how drunk we got she would never give me any pussy. She would always leave with a random because she had some theory that she only bangs dudes she doesn’t know.

Either way, I went out with her on an off night and she ended up leaving the bar alone. She invited me back to her place so I figured I’d be banging her. We put on a movie and I grabber her pussy, that’s my move. If they throw off the hand it means they don’t want it. I am pretty romantic like that especially when I know the girl I am dealing with is a slut. Anyway, we end up fooling around, I finger bang her, suck her tits all the standard shit and like an idiot pull pants off. That shit was like the alarm sounding in her head and she put a stop to everything and sent me home never to talk to me again.

Whenever I see Mariah Cary pictures, I remember that night, that girl and how I can turn off girls quicker than anyone I know and here are those Mariah pics.

I don’t know why everything I like has to be, like - the most expensive limestone that was somebody’s antique floor in France! For some reason, I always gravitate toward that.”

Interesting that someone with such sophisticated taste in what they walk on would be so careless when choosing a plastic surgeon. The intuitive gap between the two seems almost as wide as her cleavage.

Lots more from Cavalli’s yacht after the jump.

Here is a preview of Mariah Carey on the cover of “Interview Magazine” where she “bares” all. It hits news stands this August 28th. Seeing celebrities half naked on covers doesn’t really even faze me anymore. I mean is it really sexy, or controversial anymore? Or is it just expected? I spend more time trying to figure out where the photoshopping occurred than anything else.